My Nose doesn't know....

So Snoring runs in my family.  When we were kids it was embarrassing because my dad would go camping with the Boy Scouts and he would have his own tent away from everyone else and he would snore.  It scare the shit out of all the boy because they thought it was a grizzly bear....great.  So Both my children have had ear tubes.  Every time I go to the ENT with them, I tell the doctor I snore, can't breath and that I am really cool.  Well every time he says I have a crooked septum.  So cool 6 years later....I can't take it anymore I want to breath.  So DR. ENT - "It is so simple....we do the surgery on a Friday and BOOM your better on Monday".  So, I'm like...get this done!!!!

So this is literally the paper they sent me home with....
Post operative instructions: Septoplasty/Turbinoplasty
Definition of Septoplasty/Tubinoplasty......

So I don't like to read long things so I will keep it short....

A deviated septum is one that is displaced significantly and causes obstruction of air flow.....RELAXING CUTS ARE MADE IN THE REMAINING CARTILAGE to straighten the cartilage.  This is secured into position with sutures.....(and some how I also have stitches?) To reduce enlarged turbinates the underlying turbinate BONE IS CRUSHED.

WAIT DID I JUST READ CRUSHED?????    Overlying tissue is CAUTERIZED......IN SOME CASES (always) the nasal cavities are packed......

Oh then on Monday they take out the packing with half your brain.....   Well hope you enjoyed reading that. :}